The Little Hello
by Taylor Dancinghands
Disclaimer: As I understand it, some entity called 'Paramount/Viacom' "owns" the characters, features and ideas that make up the mythology known as Star Trek. I know I don't. Nonetheless, it is my steadfastly held opinion (backed up by a Mr. Henry Jenkins of MIT!) that the Star Trek Mythology has come to take a place among the mythologies of the new global folk culture -and as such I have every right to try my best to contribute something of my own to the myths and stories I love so well. As long as I don't try (goddess forbid!) to make money off of it.
Thank you, Tiya K for this amazing art!
"There's a... person... waiting for you in your office, Dix," Madeline declared with obvious distaste as Jean Luc Picard, attired in the trench coat and fedora of the private detective, Dixon Hill, stepped into the reception area of his humble office suite to begin a new adventure. Madeline's attitude struck him as odd, as he was known to consort with every manner of low-life and odd ball, and previously she'd handled all with equal indifference.
"You know, I thought I had a waiting room so for my clients to wait in, doll," said Picard, getting into character. "What's he doing in my office... or is it a dame?"
His receptionist snorted over her nail file. "Why don't you ask *him*, 'cause I'm not sure he knows. I just didn't want him sittn' out here where if we had a client come in, a real one, and... well, we wouldn't want them to draw the wrong conclusion, now would we?"
Madeline didn't seem to think that whoever it was in his office was dangerous, Picard concluded, just unsavory, and he was going to find out who it was much faster by just going into his office than questioning his receptionist any further, so he ignored Madeline's last remark and entered his office. He had been expecting Data, as he and his third officer had agreed to meet in the holodeck for this Dixon Hill adventure -one of Data's choice this time. He had not, however, expected the character which Data had chosen to personify.
"Kenny?" Dixon had encountered Kenny Silverstone in several of his previous adventures, as a reliable informant in the realm of the personal lives of a number of high rolling society dames. He was also one of the ten best hairdressers in the city, and only he would appear in a Dixon Hill mystery wearing a turquoise suit jacket and slacks, with a pale peach colored silk shirt and bright patterned cravat, now hanging loosely around his neck. He was staring out the window, his back to the door as Dixon entered, but whirled around to face him when he heard his name.
"Dix!" he cried with panicked relief, reaching out to grab at his hands. "Oh thank god, Dix! Thank god you are here! I am in such trouble, Dix; you have got to help me!"
Staring at the creature before him, Jean Luc found his mind running on two separate but parallel tracks. The ordinarily immaculate Kenny had clearly had a bad time recently. The shoulder was torn out of his jacket, and there were stains and scuffs on his knees. It was also clear that he'd been stepping out last night, for the gaudily colored outfit he currently sported was rather more outrageous than he generally wore in public. So was his now smudged but still rather alluring makeup.
And this was Data standing before him, eyes wide, made to seem even wider by the smeared eyeliner, pleading with him, and doing a fairly good job of seemed properly terrified. Oddly, the damaged but once finely tailored outfit actually looked... fairly good on him, and the color scheme favored him surprisingly well too. All in all, Data made a rather lovely Kenny. Dixon, however, would not be so easily moved.
"Now just hold on a minute, kid," he said, stepping around to put the desk between him and 'Kenny.' "I don't have to help nobody till I know they're good for it, and I don't work for free."
Data looked stricken at Dixon's pronouncement, his lower lip quivering as though he were about to cry. "They put Eric in the hospital, Dix," he murmured tragically after a moment. "They did not have to do that, they did not! Eric would have turned all the tricks Carlos asked him for, to make good on his debt. He did not have to send those creeps on him to beat him like that. He did it just to be cruel, and because he hates us. I am sick of it and well... I decided to get even."
Eric, Picard recalled, was Kenny's 'roommate', and was addicted to heroine -a 'junky' in the period parlance- and he generally brought his 'junk' from a local dealer named Carlos. Now he had part of the picture. "Kenny, what have you done?" he asked.
"I... I ratted him out, Dix," Data confessed miserably. "I know it was stupid! I know it, but I had just come from the hospital and I was so mad... And anyway, I had no idea he would squeal on the Carpetti brothers!"
"And the Carpettis have found out that you're the one who gave up Carlos, I take it?" Picard asked with a sigh.
Data nodded fearfully. "They came looking for me last night at the club, and I have been on the run ever since."
"They didn't follow you here did they?" Picard asked with alarm.
Data shook his head... adorably. "No," he said. "At least I don't think so."
Picard sat heavily in Dixon's leather desk chair, looking across he desk at Data with a dubious expression. "You want *me* to give you protection against Giulio and Enzo Carpetti?" he challenged.
Data shrugged, once again far cuter than he should have been in the turquoise, torn shouldered jacket. "They are on the run too, Dix," he pointed out, "and the cops will catch up with them before too long. It would just be for a few days."
"Maybe," Picard pondered, "but the Carpetti's are a wily pair, and if they've come after you once, that means they're out to get you for sure, and they don't give up easily." Picard leaned back in his chair, arms crossed over his chest, posturing just a bit. "It's not completely out of my league, but it would definitely involve hazard pay. I'm not sure it's going to be within your price range, Kenny."
"I got some money saved," Data declared, endearingly proud.
"You got a grand for the week, Kenny?" Picard asked, trying not to sound too cruel.
Data's head fell, his shoulder's slumped where he stood before Dixon's desk, but Picard saw his fingers twisting together nervously at his waist. He was working himself up to something. "I do not suppose," he began, without raising his head, "that I could talk you into accepting part of your payment in... kind?"
Picard laughed, in spite of the desperation in Data's voice. "You want me to take it out in haircuts, kid?" he grinned, running a hand over his smooth pate.
Bravely, Data raised his head to meet Picard's gaze directly, and his look was of determination. "Eric is not the only one who has... has turned a trick or two when times got tough. It has been a while, but I had more than a few... repeat customers back then." The defiant pride in Data's voice coaxed an indulgent smile from Picard.
"Have you?" Picard said cooly. "And what makes you think I'd be interested in such... services?"
"I can tell when a man is interested, believe me," Data declared, still defiant.
Jean Luc drew in a long breath and scowled, struggling to maintain his cool demeanor. Because he was interested, by god, and wasn't able to come up with any reason that he shouldn't take Data, or rather Kenny, up on his offer. There could be no mistaking Data's intent, here; after all, he'd picked the episode, and the role. Jean Luc unfolded his arms and leaned forward, steepling his fingers under his chin.
"Alright Kenny, here's my... proposition," he said with a smirk. "I'll have a little sample of what you've got to offer right here in the office," he began, seeing Data scowl as he no doubt thought that Dixon was going to ask him to give some away for free. Jean Luc continued on without pausing.
"And when we've done I'll tell you what credit I'll give you for it. I'll be fair," he declared, lifting a finger to silence Data's protestations before they began. "I do know what the going rate is, Kenny. You're the one who tells me."
Data deflated, eyeing him warily. "I figure you gotta trust me, kid," Picard pointed out, "otherwise you wouldn't have come to me for help in the first place, right?"
"Well," said Data, acquiescing, "I suppose you have a point." He glanced up to meet his captain's eyes now, his look measuring, curious. "Where would you like me to begin, then?"
Suddenly, Jean Luc felt his heart beating very loudly in his ears. It was his call, but when he realized the range of options before him he nearly panicked. Where to begin indeed? Data was coming around the desk to approach him, smiling sweetly as he slipped his jacket off, and then Picard remembered who and where he was. He only had to think of what Dixon Hill would do, and that was easy.
"Why don't we start with the basics," he suggested, gesturing at Data to lock his office door and then turning his chair to face his prospective client and lean back into it comfortably. Data laid his jacket on the red leather sofa behind him, then stepped towards his captain, who was still wearing his trench coat, though he had left his hat on the hook by the door. His attitude almost clinically professional, Data dropped to his knees before him, parting his thighs to kneel as closely as possible. His nimble fingers made short work of Dixon's belt and the fastenings on his slacks, and then those fingers were reaching in to take his already half hard flesh and release it from his boxers.
"Oh we are a handsome fellow, Mr. Hill," Data murmured over Jean Luc's cock, "And such a size..." He teased the foreskin back expertly, and passed the tip of his tongue over the exposed head.
"Oh... my god... Kenny," Jean Luc groaned at the sensation, fingers gripping hard at the padded leather armrests of his chair. Now Data was drawing Jean Luc's cock head into his mouth, sucking lightly and swirling his tongue around it. Jean Luc shouted wordlessly and felt Data's fingers reach into his boxers and caress his balls, rolling them in his fingers and stroking the sensitive spot just behind them. Panting with arousal, Jean Luc could not stop the pathetic noise that escaped him when Data lifted his mouth away from his cock to look up at him, his wide, dramatically outlined eyes full of pride at his skill.
"Do I not do quality work, Dix?" he demanded, daring him to say otherwise, though no such thought was on Jean Luc's mind.
"The very highest, Mr... ah, Kenny," Jean Luc said, unsteadily. "Quite honestly, better than anything I've ever been able to afford."
Data beamed at the praise and then lowered his head to address Jean Luc's cock once again. "You must sit back and relax now, Dix," Data admonished, "for I am only just getting started."
Jean Luc did as instructed, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back against the padded leather surface of the chair as Data kissed the tip of his cock and then slid his mouth down over whole of it. One clever fingered hand wrapped itself around the base of his cock, the other slipped back inside his shorts to fondle his balls, and Jean Luc was near insensible with pleasure. He whimpered as Data began to move his mouth and his hand together, up and down his rigid shaft and he felt himself helplessly push his hips up, thrusting his cock more deeply down Data's throat.
Data did not flinch or gag, but took it all, opening his throat completely to accept the full length of his captain's cock. Feeling Data's lips and tongue enclosing the base of his cock had Jean Luc dizzy with ecstasy and he reached up to take Data's head in his hands without thinking, clutching at his silken hair. Shifting his hands to pin Jean Luc's hips to the chair, Data deep throated his captain's cock with a slow but tantalizingly steady rhythm, drawing it out till his lips were just over the head, and then taking the full length of it back into his mouth, his throat, his tongue caressing every inch of it as it passed.
Feeling the tight wet heat of Data's mouth enclosing and sucking the length of his aching flesh again and again had Jean Luc close to climax in only a few minutes, and although he might have liked to prolong these activities a bit more, he was past the point of being able to stop anything himself. He was surprised, therefore, when Data stopped, lifting his head up just as Jean Luc was sure he was only seconds away from orgasm.
Barely coherent, Jean Luc gave a pathetically disappointed and lost sounding moan and opened his eyes to try and figure out where his impending climax had gone. Data met his eyes directly, and they were intent upon something. Jean Luc, still not quite ready for speech, made a questioning noise.
"I get more if I swallow, right?" Data said.
The gales of laughter that overtook Jean Luc at this question then came as unavoidably as his climax almost did a few moments ago. It served to clear his mind a bit, too and he saw a way to prolong the fun.
"I'll take that into consideration," Jean Luc finally said, when his laughter had calmed enough for speech. "And *with* that consideration, I'll say that if you had finished up here, as you just nearly did, I'd count you for thirty dollars credit."
"But?" said Data, seeing an opportunity for Kenny.
"I'll double that," Jean Luc began, searching in his mind for the appropriate slang, "if you'd be willing to... play a little baseball."
"I'd 'pitch'... while you 'catch'?"
A mischievous smile moved over Data's lips -a thing Picard rarely ever saw- and he stood, holding out a hand to help his captain rise from the chair. "In for a penny, in for a pound, eh Dix?" he asked as he pulled Jean Luc to his feet, and with no further ado, turned to face the desk and spread his legs wide. Next, he unfastened his trousers, but with his legs spread as they were they only fell to just below his hips, revealing his perfectly formed ass and little else.
Reaching into his hip pocket now, Data retrieved a little glass bottle, sealed with a cork. He uncorked it, poured a bit into his right hand and then handed it back to Picard while leaning forward to brace himself against the desk with the other hand. With deliberate care, Data reached back with his right hand to spread the lubricant between his cheeks in the area of his opening.
Fascinated, Jean Luc watched as Data wantonly fingered himself, then penetrated himself with a single digit, teasing the opening and inviting Jean Luc in, in no uncertain terms. The captain didn't need to be told twice. Pouring a measure of the fragrant contents of the bottle Data had handed him into his own hand, Jean Luc spread it over his cock, already somewhat slicked with Data's saliva, and felt the oily substance further warm his heated flesh. Eagerly, he moved forward, taking Data's hips in his hands, as Data's hand helped guide Jean Luc's member to its destination.
He felt the tight ring of Data's opening firm against his cock as he pressed for admission, then he felt it give away, breaching to let his own rigid flesh enter into Data's body. The tightness of that ring of muscle caressed the length of his cock as he thrust his way in, the heat of Data's body surrounded him, held him, enclosed him.
"Dear god," he murmured, feeling his heart race at the sensations,gasping aloud when Data thrust his ass back against Jean Luc ever so slightly, impaling himself more deeply still onto his captain's cock.
"Go on, Dix," Data provoked, "give it to me good!"
"You want it good do you, Kenny?" Jean Luc growled, pulling nearly all the way out and then thrusting into him again, fast and hard.
"Yes, Dix! Oh yes!!" Data cried. "Just... just like that," and so Jean Luc did, thrusting deep and hard into his body, immersing his cock in Data's flesh again and again.
It was almost without thinking that Jean Luc, as he felt himself near climax, reached around with his right hand, the one still slippery with scented oil, to take hold of Data's own rigid cock. Wrapping his oily fingers around the hard and heated flesh, Jean Luc stroked and pumped him in a rhythm matching his own thrusts, feeling the climax approach in both of them.
"Yes," he whispered as he felt his own drawing near, building in him. "Oh, god yes. So good, so tight..." His words went from whispers to gasps to cries, and eventually lost their resemblance to coherent words at all, and then he was shouting, shouting and coming hard, very hard and so was Data, his own hot spending covering Jean Luc's hand.
Breathing hard, Jean Luc braced himself against Data's back for a long moment, knowing that his strength would not fail, but then finally straightened, pulling his softening flesh free of Data's. 'Kenny' gave a small, almost regretful sound as he did, but then stood also, tucking himself back into his turquoise slacks and refastening them, but remaining faced away.
"That was..." he said, sounding almost shy, "that was swell, Dix. Most johns, they don't... they don't bother with anybody but themselves."
"I always try to be a gentleman about it," said Jean Luc, putting himself back in order and then stepping back to collapse on red his leather sofa.
"Always?" Data asked, finally turning to face him. "You know, I am going to be 'catching' for you quite a lot if I am to pay off my debt for my protection." Data hesitated then, an uncertain look on his face. "You *are* still going to protect me from the Carpetti brothers in exchange for my 'services', are you not?"
"Absolutely," said Jean Luc with a smile, gesturing for Data, or rather Kenny, to come sit beside him on the couch. "And you now have sixty dollars credit towards that end, but I also have an idea about just how to do that."
Cautiously, Data came to sit beside his captain, who smiled as he settled in next to him and reached up to touch his face tenderly. "What is your idea, Dix?" Data asked.
"Besides protection," Jean Luc began, "it occurs to me that you'll also need a place to stay till the Carpetti brothers are out of the picture, yes?"
"I suppose that is true," answered Data uncertainly.
"So you'll stay at my place," said Jean Luc. "You can sleep on the sofa and I'll stock up the pantry so you don't have to go out. You'll disappear for a week and every day when I get home you can... earn some more credit. How does that sound?"
"You will really let me stay at your apartment, Dix?" Data asked.
"Why shouldn't I?" asked Jean Luc. "The Carpetti's don't know you've come to me for help, do they?" Data shook his head.
"They do not," he said, "and I have told no one that I was seeking your assistance. I am curious though, are you not concerned that your neighbors... will think less of you for keeping company with such as me?"
"My neighbors?" said Jean Luc with a chuckle. "It's hard to imagine how they could think any less of me as it is. But truthfully, Kenny, my neighbors mostly tend to mind their own business. That's the way we like it in my building."
"I see," said Data thoughtfully. "Have you ever had a 'house boy' before, Dix?"
Jean Luc shook his head. "Never been able to afford one," he answered, "but I believe I'm looking forward to it. Who knows? By the end of the week I may be sorry to see you go."
"Do you truly think so?" Data asked, and the way he asked it made Jean Luc wonder if he wasn't asking something more.
"I'm more and more sure of it every minute," Jean Luc replied softly, leaning closer still to Data, so that reaching over to kiss him would be a matter of centimeters only. It was Data that closed the gap, as Jean Luc had hoped he might, but the kiss was still shy, tentative. It was just the tip of Data's tongue that tasted his, his own knowing Data's mouth only briefly, but there was promise there, and Jean Luc thrilled to feel it.
It was as they were just drawing back from this first, brief kiss that the holodeck arch appeared, incongruously, on the far wall of Dixon Hill's office, shimmering into existence without a sound.
"It would appear that it is time for our holodeck session to come to an end," said Data, sounding more disappointed than a supposedly emotionless android ought to.
"So it would seem," said Picard, his fingers still resting on Data's cheek. "I see no reason why we shouldn't continue this little scenario at a later date, however," he commented. "Do you?"
"No," said Data, slowly shaking his head as though processing some new and unexpected information. "I do not."
"Good," said Picard, standing and extending his hand to his third officer to help him to his feet (in spite of how unnecessary the assistance was). "Then I'll make the appropriate arrangements."
Jean Luc's hand remained resting on Data's shoulder as the detective and his new house boy left the offices of Dixon Hill, private investigator, but it slipped off as they crossed under the arch and reentered the reality they knew to be their own. Even so, the two men remained close, their shoulders nearly touching as the Captain and his Second Officer made their way through the corridors of the starship Enterprise.
"You know," said Data as they passed around the corner, "in the original scenario, Kenny turned out to have a great deal of money saved up, and was able to pay Mr. Hill without difficulty."
"Is that so?" Picard asked.
"It is," answered Data.
"You know, I believe," said Picard after a moment's consideration, "that I like your version of the scenario better."
(c) 2007 Taylor Dancinghands